


Offspring Acquired

by lemonmerinque



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, adoption fic, rated T cause there's an intrusive thought joke, this is half a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonmerinque/pseuds/lemonmerinque
Summary: Shedding light on the circumstances that enabled Byakuya to become a father....
Relationships: Dr. Xeno & Ishigami Byakuya
Comments: 13
Kudos: 105





	Offspring Acquired

“Do you want a child?”

  
Byakuya paused at the sudden question. He was unsure how, or why, the subject changed from discussing applications at Nasa to, uh, that; but Xeno’s tone betrayed no sign of humor. He was a rather eccentric man, but Byakuya was familiar enough with him to easily read between the lines of his gestures and speech – even through a phone call. Hence, the only thing he was certain about was that Xeno was very serious about it. 

  
Only the nature of it evaded him.

  
“W-what do you mean?”

  
“Do you want an offspring, Mr. Ishigami?”

  
Byakuya squinted away the intrusive thought of Xeno impregnating him that popped in his mind and masterfully masked the discomfort it instilled in him before answering. “Well, yeah! I suppose I’d like to be a father at some point.”

  
“Excellent!” beamed Xeno in the usual way he would when anything went his way, “I happen to be in possession of a child, would you care to take it in your custody?”

  
“Wait, huh, you mean right now…?”

  
“Yes, you simpleton, _right now_.”

  
Byakuya was at loss for words. He scratched the back of his head trying to find a correct response for the mind-boggling situation at hand, but a soft knock on his window interrupted him. 

  
A smug, familiar figure smiled at him from behind the curtain-less window, putting its cellphone away before disappearing to wait behind the door. Byakuya held onto his own phone in disbelief for a couple of seconds, before gasping, clumsily putting it back in its socket and rushing to open the door.

  
Xeno walked in the apartment triumphantly, his long black coat floating behind him, giving him the air of a super-villain and the unmistakable pet carrier Xeno held by his side made Byakuya’s distress increase at levels he never had experienced before. He followed Xeno as he planted himself on the living room couch with a plop, placing the carrier on the free space by his side.

  
“I don’t have the time to explain much,” Xeno’s fingers tightened around the safeties as he unlocked them, very careful not to have his unusually long nails damaged in the process. “I have no other safe place to leave him. If you have him, I will be sure to compensate some of his expenses.”

  
Byakuya watched in horror as Xeno pulled out a blanket clad baby from the container and showcased it to him like it was Simba. The baby did not seem particularly upset by the situation, only yawning drowsily and blinking a few times. 

  
“Are you serious? Whose child is this?!”

“I’m afraid that’s classified.”

  
“What do you mean? Aren’t its parents looking for it?”

  
Xeno flashed a tiny yet overconfident smirk at Byakuya.

  
“Don’t worry about it. Do you want to hold him?”

  
Byakuya’s hands trembled as he reached out and took the baby in his arms and Xeno aww’ed insincerely at the sight. “See? You’re a natural, you’ll do just fine!” He then pulled an array of folded papers from the inner pocket of his coat and reached to grab a pen that was laying on the coffee table. “I’ll fill out the adoption papers since your hands are full.”

  
“You know I can take him to the police, right?”

  
“And what do you expect to achieve with that?” Xeno’s tone changed to a more dire one. “He has nowhere to return to and doesn’t even exist on paper yet,” he stressed while tapping the pen on the registry in front of him. “I cannot keep him, nor will I be able to anytime in the future.”

  
Almost as though he understood the change in the atmosphere, the baby began to bawl. Immediately, Byakuya patted his back, cradling him softly. Xeno winced in disdain and tipped the carrier over till a pacifier fell out and then handed it over, his own discomfort dying off as soon as Byakuya managed to get the baby to calm down. His dark, soulless eyes focused on the father-to-be as he decided to try a more heart to heart approach.

  
“I can try to take him somewhere else, but I don’t know anyone else I would trust with a baby,” Xeno said as softly as he could humanly manage, “you are my best bet.”

There was not much room for argument, and so the newly conceived father sighed defeated. “I get it, I get it. Fine. This is just very sudden.”

  
“Don’t worry, I have his belongings and some baby-proof furniture in my car, they will fit just fine in your room.” Byakuya tiredly rubbed his eyebrows and mouthed an ‘of course’ as the scientist resumed filling out blanks on the adoption forms. “I’ll make sure this goes as smoothly as possible. Such incredible timing that you have the week off now, no?” 

  
Byakuya lowered his hand and glared at Xeno. It sounded as if the situation was carefully falling into place exactly the way the foreigner wished for it to be, but before Byakuya could voice his concerns a small chubby hand curled around his index finger. His eyes and mood softened by merely watching the inquisitive baby in his arms pull his fingers around. 

  
“Hm… this might be a little sudden, but have you decided what you’ll name him?”

  
Byakuya made a face that was halfway between defeat and delirium at the question. He didn’t have to think that one for long, however. 

  
“Senku! Ishigami Senku.”

  
“Oh? Not half bad, I suppose. Sounds like you had made up your mind a long time ago…”

  
“Well yeah, I always wanted kids. I just haven’t found the right partner yet, haha.”

  
Xeno scribbled down the name after Byakuya explained which characters to use and then patted the papers down, pleased with his handiwork. 

  
“What about you, don’t you want a family?” Xeno only flashed him a stone-cold expression this time.

  
“I do not plan to breed.”

  
“Ahaha, right.”

  
“Anyway, it’s been a real pleasure to see you again, Mr. Ishigami, but my visit will have to come to an end now.” Xeno removed an extra blanket and a rattle toy from the pet carrier, closed it and got up, extending a hand as he smiled down to his friend. “I will transfer money into your account a little later in the day. I will text you when I do so.” 

Byakuya felt weird accepting the handshake but did so out of courtesy.

  
“I hope you and Ishigami Jr. bond well, let me know if there’s any complications.”

  
“Yeah, of course!”

  
With that Dr. Xeno was out of the small apartment. Byakuya watched him drive away for a bit before he walked back in and closed the door behind him. Senku sucked on his pacifier comfortably and reached out for his hand again, Byakuya could only smile in return and oblige.

  
“What the fuck,” He uttered finally.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thank yous to @Guadalupe17 for proof reading ;;


End file.
